Julia: April 2008 Archives
In past entries, I've confessed my attraction to junk TV as an expression of my shadow, so I hope it won't come as a shock to you that I received the following revelation while watching The Real Housewives of New York City. In an episode I watched on Saturday, one of the housewives and her friend went to a doctor who specializes in non-surgical treatments designed to make one look younger. The housewife, "Ramona," who is quite a pistol, was extolling the virtues of keeping up with one's beauty regimen so as to continually look as young and attractive as possible. In my perception, however, despite all the time and money she spends on upkeep, she looks quite hard-edged and not as young as she may think she looks.
While she wears her hair in a youthful style and has a trim, attractive figure which she loves to show off with clothes designed for much younger women (much to the chagrin of her conservative, adolescent daughter), she seems to be missing the one thing that would truly bely her years. Now--I'm just as vain as most mortals, and while I religiously cleanse my face and slather on high-quality moisturizers and other potions to keep my skin in top condition and youthful-looking as possible, I know that my--and your--greatest beauty treatment is Love.
Love--Life Force Energy--is that which enlivens us and without which we not only age and deteriorate, we die. Now--I'm not saying Ramona isn't a loving being doing the best she knows how; that she's not having exactly the life experience that she needs to be having in order for God, All That Is, to have the experience of being Ramona, I'm just saying that allowing Love to flow does not seem a top priority for her at a conscious level. That, by the way, seems to be true for most human beings.
But if she--if we--were to make radiating Love unconditionally our top priority, not only would our vibrational frequency be higher and our lives more harmonious, we would look younger and younger! Think about it: when we are young, we look dewy and fresh because Life Force is flowing through us at optimal levels. We have not yet blocked the flow of Love/Life Force through letting ego reign. As we choose ego more and more, which automatically blocks, and thus, diminishes the flow of Love, we begin to age--tissue begins to deteriorate from a deficit of Life Force--and we look older. Over time, we are less and less enlivened until we are no longer able to sustain our bodies with the limited Life Force we're able to circulate, and the jig is up.
But what if, now that we're conscious and aware, we took part in the most powerful beauty and rejuvenation plan of all? What if we increased the Life Force/Love we're flowing through us? What if, instead of declining, we gained energy through choosing Love over ego more and more and more? I am quite sure it's the beauty treatment with more potential than any Park Avenue doctor will ever come up with! Hmmm...I wonder if I promote this idea if sheer vanity might propel otherwise unconscious people into consistently radiating Love for the amazing cosmetic benefits?
My trip was great. I loved seeing everybody and the flora did not disappoint. It was a tiny bit past prime in Raleigh, but just as I predicted, the Spring show was in full force in Winston-Salem. I wish I'd been able to get a photo of the redbuds in bloom along I-40 between Greensboro and Winston-Salem. Mile after mile of redbuds mixed with wild dogwoods. Stunning!
I did get some pictures while I was in NC, and maybe my energy will have returned sufficiently for me to upload and share them soon! In fact, I'm sure it will.
I was struck by how wonderful it felt to go from one place to another and another where people were excited to see me--where I felt loved and treasured. I haven't managed to create that here in Denver (except with Rick and the girls), but in NC, that's what characterizes my visits. Of course, I'm sure that being on vacation and seeing these loved ones so infrequently is part of the magic, but whatever the case, I was really glad to get my tanks refilled! And Dad and I got along splendidly--that's really a milestone and one for which I am very grateful.
Today, while visiting the dentist and doing errands afterward, I was struck with a new appreciation for being here as well. It was a glorious Spring day and the trees around Denver are coming into bloom, too, and the people I encountered seemed friendlier than usual. I'm sure my vibration was drawing that to me. Ahhh, Spring! Ahhh, vacation aftermath! It's almost like having a Spring do-over. I may need to schedule another NC trip for next April...
My dear friend, Catherine, with whom I stayed in Winston-Salem, is a devotee of Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer," and she got me hooked. I've recorded a couple of his shows since I returned and have shared them with Rick. I can really feel a difference within myself from taking his approach of calm, assertive dominance. My relationship with our dogs is really excellent, but there are some things I know I have created from my own lack of energetic awareness. I'll be paying closer attention and making corrections. I love that he teaches that it's your own energy you have to manage in order to change the dogs' energy. He is a controversial figure, but I think the people that object to his methods just don't think in terms of energy and don't "get" him.
Okay. I'll write more when the fascinating topics I had thought about before re-present themselves to me. Meanwhile, I'm just glad to be settling back in.
The countdown has begun. I'm leaving for my homeland pilgrimmage Tuesday morning, and I am so excited.
Rick has been devoted to watching the Masters this weekend, and thus I've been watching a lot of it, too. I always love it because Augusta National is the most beautiful golf course in the world (in my not-so-humble-opinion) and looks like home to me. They always, or so it seems, have the tournament just slightly after the peak of the azaleas and dogwoods, but still while everything is just achingly beautiful before the heat of summer sets in--so green and pristine and lovely, as only Spring in the Southeast--or maybe it's as only Spring in the Southeast at a perfectly manicured golf course--can be.
I'm thrilled to know that I will be hitting parts of North Carolina during the peak of the dogwoods and azaleas. That is what I miss more than any other phenomenon--the magic of Spring back home. My sister in Raleigh, with whom I'll be staying first, says it'll be a few days past peak there, but further west, where I'll be going next, will be at almost exactly peak. Regardless, it will be a balm to my soul. This is a photo I took of the spectacular display several years back during a trip home. It is of a yard in the neighborhood of our former family home.
Also balm to my soul will be seeing my sisters and dad again and getting together with friends. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on the blog before, but Denver is not a place where I've made friends. Friendly acquaintances, yes. Buddies? No. About a year after I first moved here, I had an astrocartography reading done, and the astrologer confirmed that this is not a social locale for me, but a learning/teaching place, and somewhere for me to be in my "spiritual cave." She was so right. But I have an extroverted side that desperately misses getting together with friends, so my annual trips to NC allow me to fill up that hole--or what feels like one. As usual, my week is stuffed with social plans--just the way I want it!
So I may get a chance to blog between now and the time I return, and I may not. We'll see. I have a lot of organizing and packing and healing to do before my plane leaves the ground this Tuesday morning. I am in the process of overcoming a case of bronchitis, which the doc thought might be pneumonia, but determined it isn't thank goodness. For the first time in over 20 years, I'm on anti-biotics as there just wasn't time to do the job completely naturally with essential oils, etc. Sometimes you just have to do what works (hopefully, this is working--I've had an allergic reaction to it and I'm very itchy!), even if it's not in alignment with your ideals. When my doc said she would advise me not to fly if I didn't get this knocked on out before my travel day, I said, "give me the antibiotics--I want to go home!"
Anyway, I'll get back to the blog as Spirit moves me to!
It seems that many of the things that have been foremost in my consciousness are not things I can blog about. Okay--I can blog about them, but spelling things out has the potential to hurt relationships with those I love, so it's not worth it to go into the details. Let me see if I can convey the issues in a non-specific way...
Of late, I have discovered just how much I have allowed the insanity of others to impact my soul. I have had the opportunity in the last week, however, to take a new stance. Something that, at first, seemed like an assault on my little world has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am handling things at a new level. Freedom!
Someone who is in my life whom I cannot, in an outer sense, "get rid of" (or believe me--I would have walked away years ago) who is really quite a drama queen and, I dare say, mentally unwell, has stirred things up in a very self-centered way that has hurt others that I love very much. Because of the position I'm in, I have felt very disempowered to do anything--at least in an outer sense--and normally, when such tornadoes have kicked up, I've just swallowed the outrage I've felt, and banked the energy as resentment, because I have not seen any other way to deal with the situation. Interestingly, the emotional roots of rheumatoid arthritis, which has been my health challenge through the years, is resentment...
This time, I initially greeted the accounts of the situation with a complete lack of passion. In observing myself, I was amazed to find that instead of feeling it viscerally, I felt great detachment. I somehow knew that it was not mine to take in or to do anything about except observe and process mentally. I did allow myself a brief spewing of ego-based garbage, but it was the shallowest reaction I've ever experienced in relation to such episodes. It was almost like I had to work myself up to release anything, because I had taken so little in. What I released was old "stuff."
Somehow, I had finally managed not to take it in at the level I had before--to not allow it to affect me personally, and not to have so much of the feeling of helplessness that I always had before. I was suddenly able to see it all for what it is: a drama that others are choosing that I don't have to choose! Wow.
This is not to say I haven't been processing it this week, but it's all been in a new way for me. As an empath, and because it involves people I love, it is easy to get sucked in, but somehow, I have been able to be much more dispassionate than before. What a blessing! I can't change what others are doing, but I can certainly manage my response to it. While this is not a new concept, I'm experiencing it at a new level and it is sublime. Yes--raising your vibrational frequency--your "frequency set-point" has much to recommend it!
Now--it's out to pot up the flat of pansies I bought yesterday...
