Time to drop resistance. Yet again.
If you're a
perfectionist like me, you know the feeling of having sooooo much to
do, but not time to do it all perfectly, so you just don't do much or
any of it. I've been suffering from a combination of that, the
challenge of traveling and readjusting to being home, a body that is
intent on showing me that I'm in resistance somewhere within, and plain
old brain fog. The fog is finally starting to lift, and I realized
tonight I hadn't written a blog entry in awhile. So here I am!
My massage therapist, Melinda Wilkins, told me last time I was there that when I'm in Difficult World, I need to just say it's because I'm doing field research so I can know for sure what Easy World is not. Thought I was clear on that, but it would seem a little more research is being called for! I have been in the throes of rheumatoid arthritis, which is still embarrassing for me to reveal. After all, I'm the Easy World messiah, and there is nothing at all easy about R.A. I am so grateful to have Rick who is so devoted to making things as easy as possible for me! He's an EW angel for sure.
I am probing my psyche for what it is that needs to shift before I am fully comfortable in my skin, and after a phone session with Mary Mooney on Monday, I have some new clues I'm running down. Clearly, the closer I get to an expansion of my career, etc., the more scared and resistant parts of me are. When they dig in, it makes it hard to move forward both figuratively and literally. I am implementing some new ideas on helping those aspects feel okay about moving forward. I've got some nurturing sub-personalities holding hands with the scared ones, and I've asked the angels to be present with them, too. No, I do not have multiple personality disorder, but we all have various aspects of ourselves that have their own views and who will do whatever it takes to get your attention when they need to and do their best to stop you if they feel moving forward is dangerous!
One thing I know for sure is that this does not invalidate Easy World one iota. Just because I've been outside it more than I'd like doesn't mean it's not still there, making miracles, waiting for me to come and claim them! The trap that has been keeping me out is that I have been resisting the RA with all my might. I think I'm about ready to knock that off. It's always resistance that keeps you in Difficult World and always releasing resistance that moves you back into Easy World...
My massage therapist, Melinda Wilkins, told me last time I was there that when I'm in Difficult World, I need to just say it's because I'm doing field research so I can know for sure what Easy World is not. Thought I was clear on that, but it would seem a little more research is being called for! I have been in the throes of rheumatoid arthritis, which is still embarrassing for me to reveal. After all, I'm the Easy World messiah, and there is nothing at all easy about R.A. I am so grateful to have Rick who is so devoted to making things as easy as possible for me! He's an EW angel for sure.
I am probing my psyche for what it is that needs to shift before I am fully comfortable in my skin, and after a phone session with Mary Mooney on Monday, I have some new clues I'm running down. Clearly, the closer I get to an expansion of my career, etc., the more scared and resistant parts of me are. When they dig in, it makes it hard to move forward both figuratively and literally. I am implementing some new ideas on helping those aspects feel okay about moving forward. I've got some nurturing sub-personalities holding hands with the scared ones, and I've asked the angels to be present with them, too. No, I do not have multiple personality disorder, but we all have various aspects of ourselves that have their own views and who will do whatever it takes to get your attention when they need to and do their best to stop you if they feel moving forward is dangerous!
One thing I know for sure is that this does not invalidate Easy World one iota. Just because I've been outside it more than I'd like doesn't mean it's not still there, making miracles, waiting for me to come and claim them! The trap that has been keeping me out is that I have been resisting the RA with all my might. I think I'm about ready to knock that off. It's always resistance that keeps you in Difficult World and always releasing resistance that moves you back into Easy World...
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