Mucking around in less-than-joy

This is an entry my ego would prefer I wouldn't post. It's nothing bad--just showing my human-ness. As a spiritual teacher, my ego would rather you think that I am a master at what I teach! Instead, I'm just learning to be one. As I’m writing this, it’s Friday night and it’s been quite a week. Let’s just say that my last thought before starting to write this was “People will get more from a book written by someone who has to use the frequency-raising process herself than by someone who never has times of less-than-joy.”

It all began with my expectations. Rick was off work last week (Aug. 26-Sept. 4), including Monday, which was Labor Day, so he was home for ten days in a row. Which was great—it just changed my routine a bit, and while I wasn’t tied to him during this time, I just was never quite able to feel the total freedom and space within myself to write, so I didn’t. I kept telling myself, “Just wait till next week! I’ll really start fresh on Monday!” Then, I realized I had forgotten Monday was Labor Day, so I said to myself, “That’s okay—just wait till Tuesday!”

Tuesday morning, I was awakened by the loud noise and vibrations of heavy equipment close to my bedroom. The next door neighbor was having a sprinkler system installed. Worse than being awakened by it, my office window is right next to her property line, and is mere inches from the walkway between her front and back yards. Therefore, whenever she is having work done at her house (and she’s had a LOT—new siding, sunroom addition, dead tree removal, weekly mowing and lawn maintenance, and so on), there are men walking back and forth so close to my office and kitchen windows that I can practically count their nose hairs. So there have been ample opportunities for me to know what having work done in her yard means as far as my peace and quiet and privacy! My heart sank. I'm not proud to admit I let my past experience color the moment and set the tone for a not-very-fun week.

I spoke to the foreman (who, even though I asked pleasantly, was very defensive—Rick thinks he’s had some encounters with neighbors before!) and found out that they were planning to be out there for 3 days. THREE DAYS! Have you ever tried to go into a divine trance state and channel a book or do a spiritual attunement for someone with a trencher outside your window loud as thunder, rattling everything, and with people walking back and forth, yelling to each other from time to time? I know there are yogis who can do it, but I’m not there yet! It’s challenging to be as sensitive as I need to be to do what I do, and still be tough enough to not let stuff like that bother me. It’s a challenge I haven’t yet risen to. I’m not going to tell you all the gory details of my week including my not-very uplifting-encounter with my neighbor —just suffice to say that it was not a high-frequency week! Thankfully, I was able to stay in Love while my neighbor and I were talking, and though it was not a lot of fun, it is okay now.

One of the things I was worried about was that I had an attunement scheduled for Thursday at 1 p.m. I checked with my inner guidance and was told it would not be a problem and not to even try to reschedule. I was fine with that, trusting my guidance and knowing it would all work out. But when Thursday came and the foreman told me they’d still be working then, and when they moved the trencher to right outside my office window, along with 3 workers, I finally decided to call and see if my client could move her appointment up so we could do it during the sprinkler workers’ lunch hour, which the foreman told me was from 11:30 to 12:30. Happily, she was available then and was happy to, so we did. But, magically (and just as my inner guidance had been trying to tell me!), the sprinkler people finished, packed up and were gone without a trace by 11:15! I could have saved myself the angst if I had just trusted completely in what I was getting from Spirit instead of what my five senses and my worry-wart ego were telling me! Live and learn. Again. And again.

Today—my first full day without the sprinkler guys—when you'd think I would be jumping into the writing at last—was gray and dreary and I just did not feel the writing spirit calling me, so I let myself off the hook for the most part and did other stuff.

Anyway, that’s enough from my less-than-joyful week—self created, of course. The happy news is, it was not as much of a bummer as it might have been if I had not been practicing being in joy for so long now! While I wasn't exactly dancing with joy, I didn't let things get to me as much as I might once have. I’m still mining the experience for why I needed to create things the way I did, and for how I can create things to be easier and more pleasant. Truth be told, I’ve not spent as much time as I probably needed to in deliberately raising my frequency. Time to get back to that! And speaking of Joe Vitale, he did a blog entry about ho’oponopono, which in Hawaiian means “to make right” that has circulated widely. I have used ho’oponopono a lot this week, especially with the incident with my neighbor, and have seen its power. I recommend reading it!