Needless angst

Hallelujah and thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you God! I do not have to report for jury duty tomorrow! I was told this by my God-Realized Self in many different ways since I got my summons a few weeks ago, including experiencing a complete and utter lack of energy around it, and still, I gradually began to worry about it. I didn’t want to say anything about this prior to now. But since it’s all over, I just have to tell you about the angst I put myself through needlessly.

Mind you—I was not unwilling to serve on a jury, even though it is definitely not something I’m eager to do. I do have issues with human beings deciding the fates of other human beings—though, in a way, that’s impossible. The people, themselves, are the ones that attract/create what happens to them, and the jurors are simply lining up with the energy of that. So I could be okay with serving. No—it was primarily my current mobility issues that had me freaked out. The Denver City-County building is massive, and there would be a lot of walking involved, and with my knee-healing project, I didn’t want to set myself back, not to mention, I wondered if I could even do it at this point. Rick recently had jury duty, and had told me that the jury room is a long way from the courtrooms—around 200 yards. Also, if I were selected, there would be a lot of time when I’d need to sit still, which is not the easiest for me at this juncture.

Why, you may ask, didn’t I just get a doctor’s excuse? Well…it’s because I was told from within that I wouldn’t need one. I just kept “hearing” that I would not be asked to report. And I felt strongly that I wasn’t supposed to go to the trouble of getting an excuse. But as the time drew near, I couldn’t stop obsessing over the possibility of having to go. I worried I was creating it so I’d have to—and the more I worried and got upset with myself for worrying, the more concerned I got that I was creating an energy bridge to the event I didn’t want to happen! I was going over and over in my mind what I’d have to do to manage physically, etc. I didn’t make any plans for this week just in case I had to be in court. By yesterday, I was making myself a little sick over it all.

Today, I just decided that, no matter what, I wasn’t going! Even though the deadline for asking for a physical postponement had long passed, I figured if need be, I’d simply call and say, “I thought I’d be able to do it, but I can’t, and I’ll get a doctor’s excuse.” Whew! What a relief! I really let myself off the hook for this, and felt great that no matter what the jury duty website said at 5:00 when they posted who needed to report tomorrow, I just simply would not be there. My frequency shot up and I started working on Chapter One of the new book, feeling a lot of joy and appreciation and exhilaration.

Just on a whim, I went to the site early—2 ½ hours early—and lo and behold, they had already posted tomorrow’s reporting numbers! And, just as my Higher Wisdom had told me from the very beginning, my number was not included in tomorrow’s prospective jurors! So now I’m free. But I could have been free all along if I had just trusted what I was getting from “above” instead of listening to my fearful self. Hey—didn’t I write a book about that???

By the way, I believe part of yesterday’s feelings of purposelessness, etc., were in large part because I had let myself get sucked into the fear place over the jury duty worries.

Sigh… I’m learning. I swear I am!