Rest, gardening, and remembering this day last year
It’s been a busy weekend, but I’m very proud to proclaim that I went to bed “early” both Friday night and Saturday night. This was very much needed—I’ve been quite driven lately, and it has taken a bit of a toll. So getting to bed before my eyes were shutting involuntarily was a treat and my energy level has really responded! This is something I need to commit to—better self care. I sometimes get so caught up in work, I don’t have much left for me. (Not a unique pattern, I realize!) If I’m going to keep going, it’s time to change my ways!
Something quite magical is going on in answer to a prayer I said…um…screamed…on Thursday night, and I’m eager to tell you about it, but I have a feeling that more of significance will be unfolding, and I am in the midst of hustling to get my Spring newsletter ready, so I will tell you about it later when I can really tell you all the juicy details. For now, I’ll share with you the big joy of the day.
It was sunny and 80 degrees and I worked in the garden today! Rick helped, and we got so much done that has been needing to be done, like digging up some invasive perennials and thinning out some things. I got a lot of cleanup done (I never clean the garden in autumn—I’m SO over gardening by the time the hard frost comes, I just can’t deal with it. What I’ve discovered is that letting the dead plants stay in place over the winter provides what is called in gardening vernacular, “winter interest.” So all the dead stuff from last year’s growth had to be removed—it’s actually fun in Spring because you get to see all the new green sprouting up and you know the beauty is on its way. So that was major fun for me.
As I posted on the Raise Your Frequency! forum today, being out there communing with Nature, breathing the fresh air and soaking in the sunshine is a real frequency-raiser. I was high as a kite after a short while of being out there playing in the dirt. Definitely a way to shoot me up to full on joy and ground me and balance me at the same time!
It was especially nice to have such a joyful time because today was the anniversary of the sad day last year that I flew home to North Carolina to say goodbye to Mom. Tomorrow is the anniversary of her departure from form. I can hardly believe it’s been a year. It feels so recent. I can still picture it all so clearly. But I actually feel it more acutely now than I did then—or, at least, I do from time to time, as little things bring back the remembrance that she is not here anymore, and I can’t just pick up the phone and call her when I think of something I’d like to share with her.
Then, it was too much to allow myself to feel. It comes in little waves—and sometimes big ones—over time—a gift of Spirit, giving you only what you can deal with, when you can deal with it. What I remember most about the whole experience of that sad weekend was how amazing my dad and my sisters—and I—were. How we handled everything so well and with one mind. It was definitely a very blessed occasion, and for one you never want to go through, it could hardly have been more filled with Love. (If you’re interested in knowing more, just go back to April of 2005’s blog entries and you can read about it there.) I just want to add that Dad is doing SO well—he has sad moments a lot, but doesn’t let it stop him from living. His attitude is remarkable. I am so proud of him.
Okay—so I’d better sign off here and get back to the newsletter prep! Look for it this week.
Hi Julia:
I just wanted to let you know that I am tinking of you and wishing you peace as you remember the first year without you mother being here in the physical. Just know she is always close by and she wants you to continue to seek the JOY.
Love and blessings,
A
Julia
Thank you, Andrena~ As you well know, it's just one of those milestones that comes along and only has as much emotional impact as you give it. I've never been one to dwell on such anniversaries, but it's a good ""excuse"" to do a little more releasing.
I appreciate knowing you're thinking of me. I do feel the peace you are wishing for me!
Love and Joy,
Julia