Relationship day

Today was relationship day. First, I finished reading Barbara Rose’s new book, Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to being THE ONE. I wish I’d had it back in my early 20s—then again, I probably wasn’t ready for it then! Barbara writes beautifully, and has a really loving way of "smacking you upside the head" gently, so that there is no mistaking the message. The only way you wouldn’t fully get what she is saying is if you didn’t open the book! I wish I could give this book to girls in junior high everywhere. It’s a thin volume in size, and I admit that when I first saw it, I was a little concerned that it would not be substantial in content either. I needn’t have worried. If you are in a relationship (or know someone who is) that is not what you are longing for, definitely read this book! You can read my Amazon review of it here.

The next relationship activity of the day was that Rick and I saw a counselor for the first time. As I mentioned an entry or so ago, our relationship has suffered due to neglect, and instead of running it into the ditch, we decided to seek help with it before things got to that point. I’m excited about it—as I’ve said before, I love self-exploration, and exploring the entity that is created by our being together is something that I know will be fascinating and challenging. Rick will most likely be going alone for a few sessions first so that he can get up to speed since I’ve done therapy-type stuff more recently than he has. Kathy, our new counselor, is very cool and non-traditional, but with a traditional background. She’s a Jungian therapist, for one thing. Though I haven’t done much study of it, (I’ve read a few Robert Johnson books, though), I’ve always resonated with Jung’s work. Kathy’s also a shaman and dream work facilitator. Most importantly, she is open to all kinds of things and seems to be on a similar spiritual path. Rick liked her and felt comfortable with her, too. It feels good to embark on this journey of exploration together!

From another relationship angle, I talked to my dad, who is on the road tonight (well, actually, he’s at a Hampton Inn tonight). He left North Carolina yesterday for Michigan, where he has (seems strange not to say “he and Mom have”) a cottage on Lake Michigan. It will be his first trip there since Mom made her transition, and it will be an emotional thing to go back there without her. That’s where they met as kids, and where they’ve spent all the summers of their retirement years, as well as summer vacations in between. So I can only imagine that walking in the front door tomorrow for the first time without her will be tearful. My sisters are headed up there tomorrow also, but they are flying. They will be getting my older sister, Ann’s, cottage ready for renters, and for their own return in July and August. They’ll be there a week this trip, so they’ll be there to help Dad ease into things. Rick and I will be going up in mid-July (and will stay with Dad) as there will be another memorial service there for Mom. Sigh…it’s hard to think of being there without her—but I feel sure I’ll feel closer to her there. Where Dad lives now is not where I ever visited while Mom was alive except for once before they moved there, so this will be my first time going back to where I remember Mom being—and so vividly. From the time I first went there in the womb, she’s always been there, too. I guess she still will be in the ways that matter most.

In addition to talking to Dad tonight when he called to report in from the hotel, I talked to Ann briefly, and I talked to Linda, the younger of my two older sisters, and it was lovely to catch up. One of the happy things that has come out of Mom’s passing is that I feel even closer to my sisters AND my dad. And in a weird way, I’m feeling closer to Mom, too. So, I have felt much gratitude for my relationships with my closest loved ones today, and am happy that, with nurturing, they are deepening and becoming more joyful.