Further studies on the ego and joy

My studies on cultivating joy have shown me SO much about my ego! I guess it’s only logical that, in the realm of duality, if you want to know about something, study its opposite. While it may seem that ego is not a parallel concept to joy, therefore, not eligible to be its opposite, it sure seems that wherever there is a hint of joy, there ego is, wishing to quash it, and doing whatever it can to try and regain control.

Case in point: This morning, I was lighthearted and ready to hunker down and have sweet communion with my Spirit (which is also communion with joy). Before going to my communion spot, I called Rick at work to see if he was still on the planet, as I hadn’t heard from him yet, which is unusual. He hadn’t been in touch because he was swamped, and having a dreadful morning, something that is all-too-usual these days. After I spoke with him and heard the strain in his voice, I began to worry. I began to worry about his stress level and his health, and the wisdom of his staying in his job, and the possible financial consequences of his leaving his job (which is not something he has talked about—that’s just my fantasy!) and other related stuff. Suddenly, I was no longer lighthearted and ready to commune with the Divine. But I decided to try anyway (because when you are not feeling like it is exactly when you need it the most, of course.) As I settled into my communion spot, I realized that my frequency had plummeted, and I started to analyze why. What I came up with was “worry.” It must have been the intended theme of the moment, for as I reached for my “communion pad,” I opened it and found myself on an almost empty page that had one statement on it. “To whatever degree you are worrying, you are holding yourself out of Love.”

Hmmm…I started contemplating that, and realized that, once again, the entity behind the worry was none other than my ego. Ego is the worrier within. Ego so desperately wants to be in control that it worries as a way to maintain a hold over things it simply cannot actually do anything about. Have you ever heard the saying, “Worry is a prayer to the wrong God”? I love that one. I guess you could say that “Worry is a prayer to the ego.” Or, in Recreating Eden-speak, “Worry is a prayer in the wrong direction.” (Reverse polarity) Worry, sure enough, is a lack of faith. One thing’s for sure, ego is not a faithful entity! Well, it may have faith in things “going wrong,” but it doesn’t have faith in the Divine Design for Wholeness and Harmony! And whenever you are investing energy in anything lesser, you are depriving yourself of the Love and peace of the Divine Design. And of joy!

As I thought about worry and the ego and how much I wanted to experience the joy space this morning, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to rise in frequency as much as I wanted to without doing some emotional clearing. Worry had brought up a lot of my “stuff”—my insecurities and general fears—and I knew that I needed to put on Ashes and go through the catharsis process again. That’s the coolest thing about that album—if you listen from start to finish, it really does take you through the paces in the most pleasant way possible. Sure enough—when the last song on the album had played, I was feeling worlds better and back to lighthearted again!

Because I have committed myself to a study of “joy on purpose,” I suppose this, as everything in my life, is just grist for the mill. I think it’s really great the way the universe compels you to teach what you most need to learn, but I do wonder how people cope with all these lessons and challenges if they don’t see their job as learning so they can teach! As I said to Rick the other day, if I didn’t frame my life in terms of Joseph Campbell’s “hero’s journey,” I’d probably just go nuts!