Heading east again!
Hope you got my Spring newsletter email that went out today. If not, you can read the newsletter in its entirety on the website by clicking here. Thanks to my awesome webmaster, Tony Roberts, for scrambling to help me get it done!
I’m packing tonight for my trip to North Carolina (the second one in 2 weeks), and had hoped to have time to write another installment in the “soulmate saga,” but I’m cutting things pretty close, and with needing to get up really early (for me, anyway) I’d best just wait on that till I have a bit more time. I’ll have access to a computer for at least part of the time I’m gone, and will try to post to the blog when possible. It’s a bit of a whirlwind—I am scheduled, literally, for all but about 45 minutes of the whole week I’ll be there!
It’s going to be nice to gather with the family again at my niece’s wedding. I think one reason I’ve been able to hold it together and get done all that I need to do without wiping out in a puddle of grief is knowing I will be with everyone again—except Mom, of course (although, I’m sure her Spirit will be very near!)—for this weekend. I have tried to grieve on purpose—I put on Cris Williamson’s Ashes, which is my favorite grieving music—and listened to it 2 times through, and could hardly work up a sob. I’d like to think it’s because I’m so enlightened that I’m totally cool with my mother’s absence from the planet (in this dimension, anyway), but I know Sweet Julie (my inner child) has some tears to shed when the time is right. With my talk in Colorado Springs Sunday, and now, getting ready to fly out again, there just hasn’t been time to really release. How that’s manifested is a low-grade sadness, with moments of joy. It’s a challenge to experience full-on joy when your frequency is a little bit depressed from unfelt feelings and unshed tears. I’m glad I’ll have two weeks to process things when I get back from NC before I head to Louisiana for the Joyfest!
I’ll be seeing Mary Mooney, my favorite therapist/healer while I’m in Raleigh . I am sure we’ll touch on some feelings about Mom’s departure, as well as other stuff. I’m sure there are people who wouldn’t get this (surely not YOU), but I revel in emotional release work. It is not always easy, but I truly love exploring my psyche, facing my demons, and processing my emotions so that I can get clear. What I have learned is that, what you stuff down and hide away is not nearly as scary as you imagine it to be once you bring it out into the light of day. So much of it is stuff that got locked away in childhood when everything looked scary because you felt so powerless and didn’t know what to do with pain and feelings that were “unacceptable.” When you bring them out in to the light and look them in the face, most of the time, they evaporate—especially if you do it lovingly.
Monday night I’m giving a talk in Winston-Salem at Catherine Jourdan’s new home. I’m excited to see old friends and meet new ones. It’s my old stomping grounds, and I feel so comfortable doing talks, etc., there, as I spent a lot of time doing just that there in the ’90s. If you’re in the area and want to come, call Britt Mittemeijer at 336-765-8989 to reserve a seat! I’m also offering individual attunements on Tuesday afternoon from lunchtime through 7:00 p.m., so if you’re interested in that, call Britt as well!
Well, I’d better head to bed. Tomorrow’s going to require stamina! I’ll check in from NC when I can!
Hello, Julia!
Perhaps you remember me-- the kid with the afro at your seminar in Colorado Springs. Although you had a small audience that day, do know that you made a huge impact on me and have encouraged me to forge on. I'm back in Tokyo now. The weather is beautiful, and, as you said, it's a perfect time to celebrate life in all its beauty. By the way, I went out shortly after that and bought a copy of Earth, Wind and Fire's Greatest Hits ;)
For you as well as all your readers, I'd like to tell you a little about myself. I spent most of my life extremely depressed and angry. I was recently discharged from the hospital after my third and most near-fatal suicide attempt. When I left that place, I promised myself that I was going to live my life, no matter how hard it can sometimes be, because we are here to celebrate life and to help each other in the name of Love. Instead of moping about my past, I'm going to view my past suffering as an opportunity to help people who are coping with the similar difficulties. My long-time wish to become a holistic therapist is quickly unfolding as I meet with my old holistic therapist here, a former student of Jiddu Krishnamurti, and make plans to visit India to meet with spiritual leaders there.
And for Julia, I'm sure you already know that physical death is not an eternal good-bye with the ones we love, but here is a prayer I came across as I was finding something for my friend whose father also recently passed away. May it remind you that your mother is finally a child again now in God's embrace.
"Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not here, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow; I am the diamond glint on snow; I am sunlight on ripened grain; I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight; I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die." (old Indian prayer)
I was so happy to discover that you had posted! And what an inspiration you are--in all kinds of ways!
I can only write briefly now as I am exhausted from too much socializing (wedding stuff), and need to get to bed, but wanted you to know how much I appreciated hearing from you. It's very hard to believe that the bright Light I saw in you the day of the Colo. Springs talk had ever come close to going out--and indeed, I believe that your Spirit is waaaay too strong to let you off the hook from your mission! I believe you are on the right track--you had to experience all you have had to so that you could relate with people in pain and show them a path with your Light.
Again--so glad you posted and hope you will again!
Oh,yeah--the lovely lady that sat on the first row in front of you said that she intuited that you and I are from the same soul group. I felt a definite kinship with you--VERY much like I already knew you...
Love and Joy,
Julia
...for the exquisite Indian prayer. Who could not be comforted by that? Just beautiful.