The irony

It’s been longer than I would have thought since my last entry. I’ve gotten caught up in holiday stuff once again and, frustratingly, by and large, I realize I'm a lower-frequency place. Ironic, isn’t it, that what is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of the embodiment of the very consciousness that can lift us up out of pain and misery has been endowed with many elements that tend to draw us down even closer to the pain and misery--if we let them?! I claim full responsibility for making choices that put me where I am. Okay—almost full responsibility—I confess that there’s still a little bit of the victim crying out inside me. So much of what Christmas has become is inherited and perpetuated by a force larger than the power I am feeling at the present moment (no pun intended)! Ahhh...reverse polarity and it's chief lieutenants, greed and expectation...

I’m starting to realize that a serious re-thinking of the whole Christmas thing is in order—and more than just simplifying things. I think that there must be a way to preserve the parts of it I love and that lift me up, while jettisoning the parts that seem burdensome or just plain wrong. Where I am right now, however, it is looking like a trap—of my own making, of course—that could be a challenge to extricate myself from. So many expectations—and most of them created by me. But I am willing to at least begin withdrawing from that trap. I can certainly find the motivation to do it in the interest of rising closer to Eden!

It feels to me that Christmas has become a lot more about “supposed to” than an authentic celebration of Love and Light. I’m not speaking of Christmas in general (although I think that’s certainly true.) I’m speaking of my personal relationship with it. And I find that doing things out of “shoulds” and “oughts’ or just out of habit or fear of disappointing others tends to be a rocketship to lower frequency. There’s nothing like resentment to torpedo your energy! And the funny thing is that so many of the expectations I perceive on behalf of others are either not real, or the payoff for disappointing them in order to be true to what is authentic is so much greater than the actual disappointment they would feel if I decided to change what I do.

Definitely something to ponder…