Reconnecting with

If I had the pulpit that Oprah does, I believe I might initiate a global—or at least a national—campaign to get people to look each other in the eyes and smile at one another. I am saddened that so many of us seem so defended these days that smiling at a stranger in public is not as commonplace as it once was. Today I was shopping and encountered about twice as many folks who seemed completely withdrawn behind the invisible, portable walls they had erected as there were those who seemed openhearted with a ready smile and willingness to shine. I realized that Earth life has taken a toll—the details of which I can only imagine, but I believe that staying engaged and connected in Love with their fellow human beings would heal a lot.

Maybe the lack of willingness to connect can be attributed to that old amnesia thing—that failure to remember that we are One. Okay, I guess all of humanity’s issues pretty much can be related back to that! Maybe it’s that, combined with fear—but is it a named fear or an insidious, underlying unnamed fear that makes people move through the world in isolation, deflecting the warmth of a smile; pretending that no one else is walking past?

When I first moved to Denver, I was struck with this phenomenon, and was bewildered that my friendliness was not reciprocated as often as I had been used to back in North Carolina. Someone who had been here awhile explained to me that this is an area with a large transient population—lots of newcomers and lots of folks who come here expecting magic but who become disillusioned and soon move on, and that perhaps that is why they are so defended. I kind of figured it was because I was born and reared in the South and the people are, by and large, more openhearted where I spent my first 43 years. I guess all of the above could factor into my perception. I think, however, whatever the details, the truth lies in the overall increased polarity of these recent times and the lack of awareness of our connection.

I have overcome my temptation to retreat behind a similar wall to protect myself from the feelings of rejection that always come when you feel your love is not received. (Indeed, one of the most deeply wounding experiences I’ve ever known is having my love rejected--I think that's a universal phenomenon.) Maybe those people walking along in a zombie-like fashion are doing so because they’ve had their own love rejected one too many times and have decided, either consciously or unconsciously (probably the latter) that the way to prevent that in the future is not to risk it again, especially in public, with a person they don’t know. So they draw in their light and hide, albeit, in plain sight. I've decided that taking any of it personally is a recipe for terminal depression, not to mention, the way to perpetuate the illusion of separateness.

Refusing any temptation to withdraw in a similar fashion in response to their unwillingness to connect is, I believe, the test of a “spiritual warrior.” Letting Love radiate unconditionally; doing your job as a radiator of Love without allowing your smaller self to take personally whatever comes back from doing so (whether it feels good or doesn’t feel good!) is what we are called to do in these days of seeming disconnection. I believe it’s the very path back to Wholeness and Harmony--and the knowledge of our Oneness--for all of us. And sometimes, I find that a heartfelt smile and a blast of Love will penetrate the wall right then and there.